My name is Emma Nelson and as you probably know, I'm a junior at Roosevelt High School and am in Mr.Johnson and Miss.Lange's APlang class. I've lived in Des Moines my entire life and am also the youngest of four sibilings. Some things you should know about me is that I spend most of my time in the Roosevelt pool. I am in the synchronized swimming club, swim team, and water polo club. I absolutely love being in the water, and even get the reward of being a captain for the swim team this upcoming season. Along with my time in the pool, I am also a member of National Honor Society and a member of the environmental club here at school. I'm going to try tennis this year, but we'll have to see how that goes. I'm out-going, like meeting new people, and try to stay dedicated to the things that I do.
I'm excited to work with you this semester because I feel much more comfortable with my work when i have feed-back to help me. When it comes to any kind of writing, whether it's free writing, creative writing, or an essay, my mind always goes blank on what to say. I like reading books for class, but I'm terrible at analyzing them. I'm hoping that you might be able to help me improve in those areas as we work together.
I'm excited to work with you this upcoming semester!
Sincerely,
Emma Nelson
Hey Emma!
I'm so glad that you're excited about this semester. I'm excited too - and a little nervous, to be honest. I've never worked with someone on their writing before, so I hope I'm helpful! It's great that you like to hear feedback; I always get nervous when other people read my work.
You'd probably like to know more about me. My name is Laura Jordan (as I'm sure you can tell), and I'm a senior at Drake. I'm a double major in Magazine Journalism and English. I've only lived in Des Moines as long as I've been going to Drake. I grew up, mostly, near Seattle. I'm an only child, but I'm very close to my cousins. During high school, I helped coach a local Special Olympics swim team, so I totally understand loving the water. I was also the vice-president of my chapter of Honor Society and the founding editor-in-chief of our newspaper. At Drake, I'm a member (and former vice-president) of a community service fraternity, Alpha Phi Omega. You can probably tell that I love to read and write, and volunteer.
Someday, when I'm a real grown-up, I would like to be a book editor - so I hope this semester is good practice! I'm looking forward to reading your essays. =)
Have a great weekend! - Laura
Personal Reflection on Topic of Inquiry(posted RHS January 27 -- 171 January 29)
Take a look around you. you can think you know everything there is to know about the people around you. But in reality, the things that drive their personalities are the things kept quiet the most. Of course I know what drives me. I know what makes me who I am. You know what makes you who you are.
According to dictionary.com, autism is a disorder characterized by extreme self-absorption and detachment from one's environment. I dont know about you, but when any dictionary definition involves the adjective "extreme" I might feel a little intimidated. That is why this is my topic of inquiry. Why is autism so intimidating?
Say that you and a friend are out to lunch at that cute new sandwich shop downtown. You're sitting down about to order when you notice man across the room that you know has autism. You're first reaction is to wonder what to do. Should I say hi? What do I do? That sudden intimidation is normal, but why? I've grown up with three cousins that live their lives with autism and one with downs syndrome. They have affected my life in many ways because they have taught me to enjoy the things in life that most take for granted. One of my cousins, Seth, for example is probably one of the happiest children I have ever met. Seth gets excited and makes the biggest events out of the smallest joys in life. The reason they drive me to who I am is because I try to live everyday like its the best day of my life, like nothing can bring me down.
But the question I still wonder everyday, is why? Why is this subject so intimidating? Why is there so much to understand, yet so little at the same time? Its still intimidating for me. Theres so much I just dont understand and I think thats what intimidates me the most. I still wonder why these certain people and their families were the ones randomly put to this test everyday. I wonder how its possible that they can affect my sense of being (in a good way) so much and yet they dont even realize it.
Take a look around you. you can think you know everything there is to know about the people around you. But in reality, the things that drive their personalities are the things kept quiet the most. Why do the quiet things drive us the most? How are they different from what everyone else can see? Of course I know what drives me. I know what makes me who I am. You know what makes you who you are. I really like where you're going with the intro - it definitely gets me thinking! Do you think that you could tie it in to autism, or your 'quiet' experiences with autism a little more?
According to dictionary.com, autism is a disorder characterized by extreme self-absorption and detachment from one's environment. I dont know about you, but when any dictionary definition involves the adjective "extreme" I might feel a little intimidated. [That is why this is my topic of inquiry.] I don't know if you need to say this, since you're already doing a great job of showing me something that's affected you. Why is autism so intimidating? Is there anything else that you can pull out of the definition that makes autism seem so intimidating? Like, is it weird or hard to think about not being attached to one's environment?
Say that you and a friend are out to lunch at that cute new sandwich shop downtown. You're sitting down about to order when you notice man across the room that you know has autism. You're first reaction is to wonder what to do. Should I say hi? What do I do? First of all, I love that you're setting a scene. Next, what is different about seeing someone you know with autism than someone else you know? How are the strangers in the sandwich shop reacting to the man with autism? That sudden intimidation is normal, but why? I've grown up with three cousins that live their lives with autism and one with downs syndrome. They have affected my life in many ways because they have taught me to enjoy the things in life that most take for granted. I'm curious! Like what? One of my cousins, Seth, for example is probably one of the happiest children I have ever met. Seth gets excited and makes the biggest events out of the smallest joys in life. I want to know more! =) Can you tell me about a time Seth was so excited about something small? The reason they drive me to who I am is because I try to live everyday like its the best day of my life, like nothing can bring me down.
But the question I still wonder everyday, is why? Why is this subject so intimidating? Why is there so much to understand, yet so little at the same time? Is it the research and science stuff about autism that is too much? Why is there also so little, if there is so much to understand? Its still intimidating for me. Theres so much I just dont understand and I think thats what intimidates me the most. I still wonder why these certain people and their families were the ones randomly put to this test everyday. I wonder how its possible that they can affect my sense of being (in a good way) so much and yet they dont even realize it. At the end here, you stumble on some big questions, which is awesome. Does thinking about these random people make you question anything about yourself, your life, or your family?
Emma, I loved reading your reflection. I think you picked an interesting (and tough) topic. Autism is definitely an intimidating subject. I liked reading about your experiences with your cousins; I just wanted to know more! You have a great voice through your writing. It was very relatable and easy to read (a nice break from some of my stuffy course readings!). Let me know if you have any questions about my feedback!
Rough Draft Definition (posted RHS February 3 -- 171 February 5)
Challenges are the things that everyone has. Every person was born with challenges that can be very obvious or challenges that could be non-apparent till later on in life. The callenges that affect many in my life revolve around the mysterious world of autism. Challenges come from decisions. Decisions come from situations. Nobody can choose if the challenges that enter their lives are easy ones. The fact that they are difficult make them a challenge.
A misconstrued idea that challenges are bad can scare someone away from a situation. Many outcomes help are hidden blessings that teach hidden little lessons. Knowing the difference between something good and something bad can make a huge difference. Think of it like this. You just heard that someone in you life is diagnosed with cancer. Although the pain is deep, don't ignore the strength and love that comes to the surface at that time.
Its very possible to have challenges in your life and not even realize it. The problems and situations loved one's lives can unknowingly also affect you life. The butterfly affect is in full swing. Every decision and every outcome pushes you and your decisions. Maybe you dont know if the posssible challenges in you life will have good or bad outcome. Theres no way to tell except to go out and just see.
Not all challenges that will enter your life will be the same. One of your friends might be having health problems while your aunt is having financial issues while your neighbors are struggling after a house fire. So many things can be affecting your life and all you want to do is solve the problems. Make the challenges dissapear and be the hero. iT sound nice, doesn't it? Truth is, it's basically impossible to get rid of or solve these situations overnight. The thing that makes a challange a challenge is that they make you think. They make you pick your brain and learn from every situation.
Challenges are {the things}that everyone has. This sounds very specific. What kind of things do you mean? Every person was born with challenges that can be very obvious or challenges that could be non-apparent till later on in life. Do all challenges come from birth? The challenges that affect many in my life revolve around the mysterious world of autism. This is the only place you mention autism in the essay. Can you relate your personal experience with the effects of autism to the rest of the essay, through personal stories and examples?Challenges come from decisions.This sentence contradicts what you said about everyone being born with challenges. Decisions come from situations. What kind of situations require decisions? Nobody can choose if the challenges that enter their lives are easy ones. The fact that they are difficult make them a challenge. Be careful not to restate the same things just to fill space! =)
A misconstrued idea that challenges are bad can scare someone away from a situation.{Many outcomes help are hidden blessings that teach hidden littlelessons.}Outcomes of what? How do they teach lessons? What are the lessons?Knowing the difference between something good and something bad can make a huge difference. Think of it like this. You just heard that someone in you life is diagnosed with cancer. Although the pain is deep, {don't ignore} the strength and love that comes to the surface at that time. I think the phrasing of this sentence doesn’t really get your meaning across. ‘Don’t ignore’ sounds a little commanding to me. I think you could elaborate on this example a little bit more. It just ends and doesn’t show me how a bad situation/challenge can have a helpful outcome.
It’s verypossible to have challenges in your life and not even realize it. The problems and {situations} loved one's lives can unknowingly also affect you life. You talk about the vague ‘situations’ again. How can the problems in loved one’s lives affect you too? The butterfly effect is in full swing. Every decision and every outcome pushes you and your decisions. Can you explain how you’re using the butterfly effect? How does it relate to making decisions and loved ones challenges?Maybe you don’t know if the possible challenges in your life will have good or bad outcome. Why does it matter if the outcome is good or bad? How does this connect with knowing that you have challenges in your life? There’s no way to tell except to go out and just see.
Not all challenges that will enter your life will be the same. One of your friends might be having health problems while your aunt is having financial issues while your neighbors are struggling after a house fire. {So many things can be affecting your life and all you want to do is solve the problems. Make the challenges disappear and be the hero. It sound nice, doesn't it? Truth is, it's basically impossible to get rid of or solve these situations overnight.} Here, you talk about fixing problems. How does fixing or coping with challenges make you learn or grow?The thing that makes a challenge a challenge is that they make you think. They make you pick your brain and learn from every {situation.} You use the vague ‘situation’ again!
It’s hard to define something as broad and varying as a ‘challenges.’ I like that you focused on the idea of learning from them as a part of your definition. You make a lot of great points, but the essay feels a little disjointed. Can you bring in more examples or definitions to help tie your ideas together?
Revision Definition (posted RHS February 10 -- 171 February 12 )
Everyone comes face to face with challenging decisions at least once each day. How am i going to get to school on an empty tank of gas? When on earth did we learn the things on this mind twisting test? Since the day each one of us was born, difficult situations have snuck their way into our path of direction. The way we choose to handle these challenges come from the ways we learn to make decisions. This can be easy as choosing the teal paint over the light blue paint. The carpet and paint matching dilemma is solved! If that is the only challenging decision in you life than you are one lucky person. Try to think about the last time you were face to face with a challenge. What did you do?
A misconstrued idea that challenges are bad can scare someone away from a situation. Many outcomes are hidden blessings that teach hidden lessons. I once heard that something good always comes from something bad. Kind of like the calm after the storm. Knowing the difference between something helpful and something destructive can make a huge difference. Think of it like this. You just heard that someone in you life is diagnosed with cancer. Although the pain is deep, try to see the strength and love that comes to the surface at that time.
Its possible to have challenges in your life and not even realize it. Autism is a mental condition, present from early childhood. Several of my family members have been diagnosed with it, but theres really no way to understand what the challenges they face are unless you switch places with them. And thats probably not happening any time soon. A difficulity they deal with every single day is the personal communication one has on a daily basis. What seems like the worlds easiest task is confusing and intimidating. Now think back to that challenge you've had lately. You probably felt confused and intimidated when it came to finding the answer on how to fix it. Theres really no way to see if those scary challenges in your life will have good or bad outcome. The only way to find the solution is to go out and just see.
Not all challenges that enter your life will be the same. One of your friends might be having health problems while your aunt is having financial issues while your neighbors are struggling after a house fire. So many things can be affecting your life and all you want to do is solve the problems. Make the challenges dissapear and be the hero. It sound nice, doesn't it? Fixing or coping with challenges make you learn and grow because they help you see where your true strengths as a human are.The thing that makes a challange a challenge is that they make you think. They make you pick your brain and learn from every problem.
Everyone comes face to face with challenging decisions at least once each day. How am i going to get to school on an empty tank of gas? When on earth did we learn the things on this mind twisting test? [Are these decisions or situations? Is there a difference? If so, what is it?]Since the day each one of us was born, difficult situations have snuck their way into our path of direction.[I really like the way that this sentence begins, but ‘path of direction’ seems either redundant or like it could be a little more defined.]The way we choose to handle these challenges come from the ways we learn to make decisions. [How do they relate?] This can be easy as choosing the teal paint over the light blue paint. The carpet and paint matching dilemma is solved! If that is the only challenging decision in you life than you are one lucky person. Try to think about the last time you were face to face with a challenge. What did you do? [I love that you’re involving the reader here.]
A misconstrued idea that challenges are bad can scare someone away from a situation. Many outcomes are hidden blessings that teach hidden lessons. I once heard that something good always comes from something bad. Kind of like the calm after the storm. [Can you elaborate here on how something good comes from something bad?]Knowing the difference between something helpful and something destructive can make a huge difference. Think of it like this. You just heard that someone in you life is diagnosed with cancer. Although the pain is deep, try to see the strength and love that comes to the surface at that time. [This is an interesting example. How do strength or love appear when someone has cancer? Does the good outshine the bad?]
Its possible to have challenges in your life and not even realize it. [These two ideas don’t seem to connect. Isn’t autism a pretty noticeable challenge?]Autism is a mental condition, present from early childhood. Several of my family members have been diagnosed with it, but theres really no way to understand what the challenges they face are unless you switch places with them. And thats probably not happening any time soon. A difficulity they deal with every single day is the personal communication one has on a daily basis. What seems like the worlds easiest task is confusing and intimidating. Now think back to that challenge you've had lately. You probably felt confused and intimidated when it came to finding the answer on how to fix it.[I think this is a great point, about the everyday challenges of autism. It could work better as its own paragraph. I’m not sure it relates to having challenges without realizing them.] Theres really no way to see if those scary challenges in your life will have good or bad outcome. The only way to find the solution is to go out and just see.[These last two sentences don’t really connect with where I thought this paragraph was heading.]
Not all challenges that enter your life will be the same. One of your friends might be having health problems while your aunt is having financial issues while your neighbors are struggling after a house fire. [Why is it important that the problems/challenges are different?]So many things can be affecting your life and all you want to do is solve the problems. Make the challenges dissapear and be the hero. It sound nice, doesn't it? Fixing or coping with challenges make you learn and grow [how?]because they help you see where your true strengths as a human are.The thing that makes a challange a challenge is that they make you think. They make you pick your brain and learn from every problem. [How/why do challenges make you think? What does it do for you?]
I think you did a great job expanding on some of your ideas from your first draft. There’s a lot of good points in your essay, but some of them need to be made a little bit clearer. You used a personal example about autism in your third paragraph, but the rest of the essay uses hypothetical situations. Can you link autism to your other points about challenges?
Final Definition (posted RHS February 17 -- 171 February 19 )
Everyone comes face to face with decisions at least once each day. How am i going to get to school on an empty tank of gas? Do I want Cheerios for breakfast, or Lucky Charms? Since the day each one of us was born, difficult situations have snuck their way into our lives. The way we choose to handle these challenges come from the ways we learn to make decisions. This can be easy as choosing the teal paint over the light blue paint. The carpet and paint matching dilemma is solved! If that is the only challenging decision in you life than you are one lucky person. Try to think about the last time you were face to face with a challenge. What did you do?
Autism is a mental condition, present from early childhood. Several of my family members have been diagnosed with it, but theres really no way to understand what the challenges they face are unless you switch places with them. And thats probably not happening any time soon. A difficulity they deal with every single day is the personal communication one has on a daily basis. What seems like the worlds easiest task is confusing and intimidating. Now think back to that challenge you've had lately. You probably felt confused and intimidated when it came to finding the answer on how to fix it.
A misconstrued idea that challenges are bad can scare someone away from a situation. Many outcomes are hidden blessings that teach hidden lessons. I once heard that something good always comes from something bad. Kind of like the calm after the storm. The rainbow over a flooded town. I remember the day my cousin Seth was born. It was nine years ago and i had just finished talking to my aunt on the phone. She sounded so sad, and my mom looked as if she had been crying. I have a new cousin! What could possibly be so sad? Although the news of his syndrome was hard to hear, and difficult to understand, I now know how much he has changed my life for the better. He is one person that will always make me smile and I can laugh with for days. Think of it like this. You just heard that someone in you life is diagnosed with cancer. Although the pain is deep, it's more helpful if you find the strength and love that comes to the surface at that time.
Not all challenges that enter your life will be the same. One of your friends might be having health problems while your aunt is having financial issues while your neighbors are struggling after a house fire. So many things can be affecting your life and all you want to do is solve the problems. Make the challenges dissapear and be the hero. It sound nice, doesn't it? Fixing or coping with challenges make you learn and grow because they help you see where your true strengths as a human are.The thing that makes a challange a challenge is that they make you think. They make you pick your brain and learn from every problem.
Extra credit due April 11:
Emma Nelson
Lange Johnson
AP Language and Composition
21 February 2012
Definition Essay
Everyone comes face to face with decisions at least once each day. How am I going to get to school on an empty tank of gas? Do I want Cheerios for breakfast or Lucky Charms? Since the day each one of us was born, difficult situations have snuck their way into our lives. The way we choose to handle these challenges come from the ways we learn to make decisions. This can be as easy as choosing the teal paint over the light blue paint. The carpet and paint matching dilemma is solved! If that is the only challenging decision in life than that is one lucky person. Try to think about the last time you were face to face with a challenge. What did you do? Autism is a mental condition, present from early childhood. Several of my family members have been diagnosed with it, but there's really no way to understand what the challenges they face are unless you switch places with them, and that's probably not happening any time soon. A difficulty they deal with every single day is the personal communication one has on a daily basis. What seems like the worlds easiest task is confusing and intimidating. Now think back to that challenge you've had lately. You probably felt confused and intimidated when it came to finding the answer on how to fix it. A misconstrued idea that challenges are bad can scare someone away from a situation. Many outcomes are hidden blessings that teach unexpected lessons. I once heard that something good always comes from something bad, kind of like the calm after the storm. The rainbow over a flooded town. I remember the day my cousin Seth was born. It was nine years ago, and I had just finished talking to my aunt on the phone. She sounded so sad, and my mom looked as if she had been crying. I have a new cousin! What could possibly be so sad? Although the news of his syndrome was hard to hear and difficult to understand, I now know how much he has changed my life for the better. He is one person that will always make me smile, and I can laugh with for days. Think of it like this. You just heard that someone in you life is diagnosed with cancer. Although the pain is deep, it's more helpful if you find the strength and love that comes to the surface at that time. Not all challenges that enter your life will be the same. One of your friends might be having health problems while your aunt is having financial issues while your neighbors are struggling after a house fire. So many things can be affecting your life, and all you want to do is solve the problems. Make the challenges disappear and be the hero. It sound nice, doesn't it? Fixing or coping with challenges make you learn and grow because they help you see where your true strengths as a human are. By fixing or finding the long sought after for solution, you are actually finding those hidden lessons. The thing that makes a challenge a challenge is that they make you think. They make you pick your brain and learn from every problem.
Everyone comes face to face with decisions at least once each day. How am i going to get to school on an empty tank of gas? Do I want Cheerios for breakfast, or Lucky Charms? Since the day each one of us was born, difficult situations have snuck their way into our lives. [This might be a good place to explain how ‘situations’ relate to ‘challenges.’ How decisions fit into those situations or challenges?] The way we choose to handle these challenges come from the ways we learn to make decisions. This can be easy as choosing the teal paint over the light blue paint. The carpet and paint matching dilemma is solved! [Where does the carpet come from? You mentioned paint in your hypothetical, but not carpet.] If that is the only challenging decision in you life than you are one lucky person. Try to think about the last time you were face to face with a challenge. What did you do? [Are there any other questions you could ask that would get the reader to think of what challenges are like?]
Autism is a mental condition, present from early childhood. Several of my family members have been diagnosed with it, but theres really no way to understand what the challenges they face are unless you switch places with them. And thats probably not happening any time soon. A difficulity they deal with every single day is the personal communication one has on a daily basis. [How is communicating difficult? Is it different from what people without autism experience?]What seems like the worlds easiest task is confusing and intimidating. Now think back to that challenge you've had lately. You probably felt confused and intimidated when it came to finding the answer on how to fix it. [Is that how you think autism challenges would make you feel?]
A misconstrued idea that challenges are bad can scare someone away from a situation. Many outcomes are hidden blessings that teach hidden lessons. [‘Hidden’ gets a little redundant here. What separates the hidden blessings from the hidden lessons?] I once heard that something good always comes from something bad. Kind of like the calm after the storm. The rainbow over a flooded town. I remember the day my cousin Seth was born. It was nine years ago and i had just finished talking to my aunt on the phone. She sounded so sad, and my mom looked as if she had been crying. I have a new cousin! What could possibly be so sad? Although the news of his syndrome was hard to hear, and difficult to understand, I now know how much he has changed my life for the better. [I know that your cousin has autism, but another reader might be confused about what Seth’s ‘syndrome’ is. I love this anecdote, though!]He is one person that will always make me smile and I can laugh with for days. Think of it like this. You just heard that someone in you life is diagnosed with cancer. [Because you have your personal example, I don’t think you need this hypothetical about cancer.] Although the pain is deep, it's more helpful if you find the strength and love that comes to the surface at that time.
Not all challenges that enter your life will be the same. One of your friends might be having health problems while your aunt is having financial issues while your neighbors are struggling after a house fire. So many things can be affecting your life and all you want to do is solve the problems. [Why do we want to solve the problems? Is that what makes them problems?] Make the challenges dissapear and be the hero. It sound nice, doesn't it? Fixing or coping with challenges make you learn and grow because they help you see where your true strengths as a human are. [Does fixing the challenges relate to the hidden lessons that you mentioned earlier?] The thing that makes a challange a challenge is that they make you think. They make you pick your brain and learn from every problem.
It’s great that you brought in more personal examples about your cousin. Can you think of more ways to tie the whole essay together? How do each of your main points connect? How do you define the differences between situations and decisions? Does a challenge have to involve a decision?
Reflection #1 (posted RHS February 20 -- 171 February 22)
The purpose of my writing is to broaden my readers' knowledge of the challenges that children of autism face on a daily basis. I wanted my readers to think of the challenges in their lives and think about how they decide to deal with those situations. My exigence for writing this essay is from my experiences with my cousins that have Downs Syndrome or other types of autism. I think i reached my goals of writing because i hit the key points and used several example to help the readers understand my main ideas better.
Which key points did you hit? What kind of examples did you use? How did they help the readers understand your ideas? Why is it important for your readers to think about the challenges of children with autism?
Rough Draft Comparison (posted RHS February 24 -- 171 February 26 )
In a world of different diagnosis's and millions of differnt people, it can be incredibly difficult to realize the difference between severe syndromes, and hardly noticable ones.Severe diagnosis's could range from Down Syndrome to Autism which is as common as about 3,400 people per 100,000 people in the US alone. Compared to those disorders, there are many that are not on the same spectrum of severity. You may not even realize that the person you are talking to has been diagnosed with anything.With all the mental conditions in the world, it can be impossible to know just what people have been through, and the difficulties they struggle with each and every day. Some of the more severe and noticable kinds of Autism are Down Syndrome and disorders that can effect their dependancy on others all throughout their lives. The different stages of mental disorders can be catagorized my mild, morderate and severe and profound.
You may see someone in the halls or at a concert and have no clue that they have to work a lot harder in order to maintain "normal" social skills. The skills that are most needed and sometimes harder to obtain can be difficult due to what cna be mild disorders, like Aspergers. The causes for any of these disorders can be biological or come from social influences. Social influences have been found to be important, including abuse, bullying, neglect, and social stress. Those have been found to be factors that might increase the severity of one's condition.
Conclusin: Restate how the main misconceptions are different- Tie it all up in a similar thesis-
Intro:
Hook- In a world of different diagnosises and millions of differnt people, it can be incredibly difficult to realize the difference between severe syndromes, and hardly noticable ones.
Two main points-
Thesis- Since this is more of an outline than a rough draft, what is your thesis? What are your main points? What is the importance of recognizing differences between syndromes?
Point #1:
Explain the different types of autism-
What the different types mean or how they are catagorized- What are the different types? How are they different?
Point #2:
Explain the difference between the severities of the different kinds of autism-
Compare them to eachother- This point seems very similar to the one above – what makes it a different point, not just a continuation of the first?
Conclusin:
Restate how the main misconceptions are different-
Tie it all up in a similar thesis- Where did misconceptions come from? Is that a part of one of your points?
There isn’t a lot here for me to give you feedback on. What are your main points? How are you going to make an argument to the reader? Don’t forget to use spell-check!
Revision Comparison (posted RHS March 2 -- 171 March 4)
In a world of different diagnosis's and millions of different people, it can be incredibly difficult to realize the difference between severe syndromes, and hardly noticeable ones. Severe diagnosis's could range from Down Syndrome to Autism which is as common as about 3,400 people per 100,000 people in the US alone. Compared to those disorders, there are many that are not on the same spectrum of severity. You may not even realize that the person you are talking to has been diagnosed with anything. With all the mental conditions in the world, it can be impossible to know just what people have been through, and the difficulties they struggle with each and every day.
Some of the more severe and noticeable kinds of Autism are Down Syndrome and disorders that can effect their dependency on others all throughout their lives. The different stages of mental disorders can be categorized my mild, moderate and severe and profound.
You may see someone in the halls or at a concert and have no clue that they have to work a lot harder in order to maintain "normal" social skills. The skills that are most needed and sometimes harder to obtain can be difficult due to what can be mild disorders, like Aspersers. The causes for any of these disorders can be biological or come from social influences. Social influences have been found to be important, including abuse, bullying, neglect, and social stress. Those have been found to be factors that might increase the severity of one's condition.
The different kinds of disorders can be difficult to tell a part, or even just hard to notice. From severe autism, to mild social stress- not everyone knows or understands the different struggles each person has.
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In a world of different diagnoses and millions of different people, it can be incredibly difficult to realize the difference between severe syndromes, and hardly noticeable ones. [Are all severe syndromes noticeable? Are different syndromes hard to see in different people?] Severe diagnoses could range from Down Syndrome to Autism which is as common as about 3,400 people per 100,000 people in the US alone. [Great fact, but this sentence gets a little confusing. Is the statistic about Downs or autism?]Compared to those disorders, there are many that are not on the same {spectrum of severity}. [What is a spectrum of severity? What are the differences?] You may not even realize that the person you are talking to has been diagnosed with anything. With all the mental conditions in the world, it can be impossible to know just what people have been through, and the difficulties they struggle with each and every day. [Nice, strong statements at the end here.]
Some of the more severe and noticeable kinds of Autism are Down Syndrome and disorders that can effect their dependency on others all throughout their lives. [What are some of the differences between these different disorders? What are some of the mild disorders?] The different stages of mental disorders can be categorized by mild, moderate and severe and profound. [How are these stages different? What are examples of some of these categories?]
You may see someone in the halls or at a concert and have no clue that they have to work a lot harder in order to maintain "normal" social skills. The skills that are most needed and sometimes harder to obtain can be difficult due to what can be mild disorders, like Asperger’s. [I like where this sentence goes – but I think it’s a little clunky and confusing.] The causes for any of these disorders can be biological or come from social influences. Social influences have been found to be important, including abuse, bullying, neglect, and social stress. Those have been found to be factors that might increase the severity of one's condition. [That’s really interesting! How do they increase the severity? What happened to the biological influences?]
The different kinds of disorders can be difficult to tell a part, or even just hard to notice. From severe autism, to mild social stress- not everyone knows or understands the different struggles each person has. [What else can you tell me about how struggles are different? Why are some hard to notice?]
I think you’re really starting into some interesting (and difficult) content! =) Can you add a little more detail about some of the terms you’re using, like spectrum of severity, or brief descriptions of some of the disorders? I don’t know enough about the different disorders to know which ones are mild or how they appear in most people.
Final Comparison (posted RHS March 9 -- 171 March 11)
In a world of different diagnoses and millions of different people, it can be incredibly difficult to realize the difference between severe syndromes, and hardly noticeable ones. Not all syndromes are severe. The severity depends on their social awareness and can also be noticed from their biological traits. Severe diagnoses could range from Down Syndrome to Autism. Autism is as common as about 3,400 people per 100,000 people in the US alone. Compared to those disorders, there are many that are not on the same spectrum of severity. A spectrum of severity sounds a little strange, but it is just a way of categorizing people's syndromes and disorders to help doctors and parents understand their needs more.You may not even realize that the person you are talking to has been diagnosed with anything. With all the mental conditions in the world, it can be impossible to know just what people have been through, and the difficulties they struggle with each and every day.
Some of the more severe and noticeable kinds of Autism are Down Syndrome and disorders that can effect their dependency on others all throughout their lives. The different stages of mental disorders can be categorized by mild, moderate and severe, and profound. An example of a milder syndrome is Triple X. It is caused when a child is born with and extra X chromosome in each cell. Development in a child with XXX would be a bit slower and would have delayed motor skills and poor coordination.
You may see someone in the halls or at a concert and have no clue that they have to work a lot harder in order to maintain "normal" social skills. The skills that are most needed can be harder to obtain for those with mild disorders, like Aspergers.The causes for any of these disorders can be biological or come from social influences. Social influences have been found to be important, including abuse, bullying, neglect, and social stress. Those have been found to be factors that might increase the severity of one's condition. It's hard for children to completely understand their disorders, so by adding neglect and abuse to their lives, everything is more confusing and they tend to shut down emotionally. Some families have gene pools that tend to run higher in the chances of having children born with these conditions. Sometimes these abnormal genes or chromosomes are passed down from a parent, and sometimes they occur spontaneously without reason.
The different kinds of disorders can be difficult to tell a part, or even just hard to notice. Nobody lives with a blatant sign on their chest explaining all of their life challenges, so its tough to see what you don't know. Imagine being picked on or looked at as a freak or social outsider. Imagine what it would feel like to know that everyone else around you is growing faster, and there is nothing you can do to change that. From severe autism, to mild social stress- not everyone knows or understands the different struggles each person has.
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In a world of different diagnoses and millions of different people, it can be incredibly difficult to realize the difference between severe syndromes, and hardly noticeable ones. [Is this your comparison?] Not all syndromes are severe. The severity depends on their social awareness and can also be noticed from their biological traits. [Is it social awareness for the person with the syndrome, or the awareness of others around them?] Severe diagnoses could range from Down Syndrome to Autism. Autism is as common as about 3,400 people per 100,000 people in the US alone. [That’s a lot – are there any statistics for Down syndrome, or other lesser known syndromes?] Compared to those disorders, there are many that are not on the same spectrum of severity. A spectrum of severity sounds a little strange, but it is just a way of categorizing people's syndromes and disorders to help doctors and parents understand their needs more better. You may not even realize that the person you are talking to has been diagnosed with anything. With all the mental conditions in the world, it can be impossible to know just what people have been through, and the difficulties they struggle with each and every day. [I like this sentence – I think it would make more sense to me if it was near the beginning of this paragraph though.]
Some of the more severe and noticeable kinds of Autism are Down Syndrome and disorders that can effect their dependency on others all throughout their lives. [I always thought autism and Down syndrome were different things. How are they similar? What makes them different?] The different stages of mental disorders can be categorized by mild, moderate and severe, and profound. An example of a milder syndrome is Triple X. It is caused when a child is born with and extra X chromosome in each cell. Development in a child with XXX would be a bit slower and would have delayed motor skills and poor coordination. [Interesting! I’ve never heard of Triple X. How does its symptoms compare with autism and Down syndrome?]
You may see someone in the halls or at a concert and have no clue that they have to work a lot harder in order to maintain "normal" social skills. [What is normal, though?] The skills that are most needed can be harder to obtain for those with mild disorders, like Aspergers. The causes for any of these disorders can be biological or come from social influences. [I think you hit on an important point here, but I don’t read the sentence naturally.] Social influences have been found to be important, including abuse, bullying, neglect, and social stress. Those have been found to be factors that might increase the severity of one's condition. [Where have these things been found? Cite a source if you need to!] It's hard for children to completely understand their disorders, so by adding neglect and abuse to their lives, everything is more confusing and they tend to shut down emotionally. Some families have gene pools that tend to run higher in the chances of having children born with these conditions. Sometimes these abnormal genes or chromosomes are passed down from a parent, and sometimes they occur spontaneously without reason. [How does the source of these disorders affect social influences?]
The different kinds of disorders can be difficult to tell a part, or even just hard to notice. [Do we have to notice? Is it better if we know?] Nobody lives with a blatant sign on their chest explaining all of their life challenges, so its tough to see what you don't know. Imagine being picked on or looked at as a freak or social outsider. Imagine what it would feel like to know that everyone else around you is growing faster, and there is nothing you can do to change that. From severe autism, to mild social stress- not everyone knows or understands the different struggles each person has. [How does this relate to a comparison?]
I lost sight of the comparison. You bring in a lot of very interesting information, but I have a hard time seeing how it compares, or what it’s comparing to. Is the essay comparing autism with Down syndrome, or people with disorders to “normal” people? I still think you’re hitting important and interesting topics!
Reflection #2 (RHS March 16 -- 171 March 25)
The purpose of my writing was to compare and contrast the world of severe mental disorders and hardly noticable mental conditions. The style of my essay was in block. I used block so that i could easily explain and give examples about each condition. Something that I thought I did well with was my examples and explainations of the different kinds of disorders and how they can change one's life and personality.
I'm so sorry about posting this so late! I havent been keeping up to date on the wiki and so I didn't notice the reflection. Thank you for helping me!
I think you did a great job using examples when you explained the different disorders. Are there any sources that you can use and cite for more statistics and facts? Could you go into more detail about the effects of the differences between disorders?
No worries about it being late! I'm glad you got it in. =) Rough Draft Argument (posted RHS April 6 -- 171 April 8)
Everyday, children across the world are picking up their backpacks, meeting their friends at the bus stop, and going to school to learn and socialize. Most of the time, the kids run to their classrooms of thirty others and get excited for a brand new day. But what about the children from the special education classes and where do they fit in amongst the rest? The separation of special education learners and the average classes has recently started to stir up a ruckus. While some believe that mainstreaming the kids is the best fit for learning, others believe that complete separation benefits everyone.
"Mainstreaming refers to reaching children with special needs in regular classes with other children", says autismuk.com. The article goes on the say that separating autistic children only adds to their problems and makes them feels excluded. Mainstreaming would increase opportunities of leadership among the kids. Setting examples and teaching everyone more about autism.
Arguments against mainstreaming root from the issue of child-to-student learning. Many parents are concerned that their child will not get the attention needed for special education. They would argue against Brett Singer of autismlearningfelt.com that says, "[Separation in schools is] just a way for society to further marginalize children with autism." The parents that are against mainstreaming, want the best education for their children without having to worry that their children's teachers are too busy with a full classroom to help the others.
Everyday, children across the world are picking up their backpacks, meeting their friends at the bus stop, and going to school to learn and socialize. [Strong setting at the beginning here. I like it!]Most of the time, the kids run to their classrooms of thirty others [other what?]and get excited for a brand new day. But what about the children from the special education classes and where do they fit in amongst the rest?[They aren’t excited to start a new day too? Why not? Do other children treat them differently? Are the special education classes not fun or helpful for them?] The separation of special education learners and the average classes has recently started to stir up a ruckus. While some believe that mainstreaming the kids is the best fit for learning, others believe that complete separation benefits everyone. [Since this is an argument, what do you believe is the best fit?]
"Mainstreaming refers to reaching children with special needs in regular classes with other children", says autismuk.com. [Can you introduce your quote a little more? What article are you talking about?] The article goes on the say that separating autistic children only adds to their problems and makes them feels excluded. Mainstreaming would increase opportunities of leadership among the kids. Setting examples and teaching everyone more about autism. [I think this fragment is probably your main point for this paragraph about why mainstreaming is good. Can you bring in more examples or facts?]
Arguments against mainstreaming root from the issue of child-to-student learning. [What’s the issue?]Many parents are concerned that their child will not get the attention needed for special education. They would argue against Brett Singer [who is he? If he is pro-mainstreaming, why is he in this paragraph?]of autismlearningfelt.com that who says, "[Separation in schools is] just a way for society to further marginalize children with autism." The parents that are against mainstreaming, want the best education [what is the best education? Is it the same for kids with disabilities and kids without?] for their children without having to worry that their children's teachers are too busy with a full classroom to help the others.
I think you have a great start here. I just want to know what your overall argument is going to be. Are you arguing for or against mainstreaming? From what I can tell, your sources so far seem to be pro-mainstreaming. Just keep working and adding more details. I’m excited to see where this goes!
Revision Argument (posted RHS April 13 -- 171 April 15)
Everyday, children across the world are picking up their backpacks, meeting their friends at the bus stop, and going to school to learn and socialize. Most of the time, the kids run to their classrooms of thirty other peers and get excited for a brand new day. But what about the children from the special education classes and where do they fit in amongst the rest? The separation of special education learners and the average classes has recently started to stir up a ruckus. While some believe that mainstreaming the kids is the best fit for learning, others believe that complete separation benefits everyone. Honestly, I don't know how to feel about mainstreaming. If my children were to need special education, I would want them to be in the best environment possible. The only thing is, what is the best environment? A solution that many schools these days are turning to is mainstreaming. "Mainstreaming refers to teaching children with special needs in regular classes with other children", says autismuk.com. The article goes on the say that separating autistic children only adds to their problems and makes them feel excluded. Mainstreaming would increase opportunities of leadership among the kids. It would help all of them learn to set examples and teach everyone more about autism. The students in the regular classes would start from a young age to learn about autism, which is a big thing in our society. Arguments against mainstreaming root from the issue of child-to-student learning, and that the ratio is too little. Many parents are concerned that their child will not get the attention needed for special education. They would argue against Brett Singer. Singer is a special education specialist, is pro-mainstreaming. His article on autismlearningfelt.com says, "[Separation in schools is] just a way for society to further marginalize children with autism." The parents that are against mainstreaming, want the best education for their children. To have the best education possible, they want their kids to feel comfortable and safe while learning to their best abilities, without having to worry that their children's teachers are too busy with a full classroom to help and be distracted by the others. Everyday, children across the world are picking up their backpacks, meeting their friends at the bus stop, and going to school to learn and socialize. Most of the time, the kids run to their classrooms of thirty other peers and get excited for a brand new day. But what about the children from the special education classes and where do they fit in amongst the rest? [I feel like this question could be two separate questions, if you take out the ‘and.’] The separation of special education learners and the average classes has recently started to stir up a ruckus. While some believe that mainstreaming the kids is the best fit for learning, others believe that complete separation benefits everyone. Honestly, I don't know how to feel about mainstreaming. If my children were to need special education, I would want them to be in the best environment possible. The only thing is, whatisthe best environment?[Good question at the end here. My only concern is that this is an argument paper, so you might need to take a stronger stance than being unsure.]
A solution that many schools these days are turning to is mainstreaming. "Mainstreaming refers to teaching children with special needs in regular classes with other children", says autismuk.com. [Can you define mainstreaming in your own terms, and then quote something else from AutismUK?]The article goes on the say that separating autistic children only adds to their problems and makes them feel excluded. Mainstreaming would increase opportunities of leadership among the kids. It would help all of them learn to set examples and teach everyone more about autism. The students in the regular classes would start from a young age to learn about autism, which is a big thing in our society. [What is a big thing? Why is important for “regular” students to learn about autism?]
Arguments against mainstreaming root from the issue of child-to-student learning, and that the ratio is too little. [I get a little confused when I read this first sentence. I think there might be too much info for just one sentence.]Many parents are concerned that their child will not get the attention needed for special education. They would argue against Brett Singer. [Not sure this sentence is necessary – if he is pro-mainstreaming, then people that don’t like it are probably against it.]Singer is a special education specialist, is pro-mainstreaming. His article on autismlearningfelt.com says, "[Separation in schools is] just a way for society to further marginalize children with autism." The parents that are against mainstreaming, want the best education for their children.[How does Singer’s quote relation to parents wanting the best education?]To have the best education possible, they want their kids to feel comfortable and safe while learning to their best abilities, without having to worry that their children's teachers are too busy with a full classroom to help and be distracted by the others.
It’s still looking good! I’d like to see where you’re going to end this, though. Will you be able to define what the best environment or education is in your conclusion? You ask a lot of important questions, but I want to see how you will connect them.
Final Argument (posted RHS April 20 -- 171 April 23)
Everyday, children across the world are picking up their backpacks, meeting their friends at the bus stop, and going to school to learn and socialize. Most of the time, the kids run to their classrooms of thirty other peers and get excited for a brand new day. But what about the children from the special education classes? Where do they fit in amongst the rest? The separation of special education learners and the average classes has recently started to stir up a ruckus. While some believe that mainstreaming the kids is the best fit for learning, others believe that complete separation benefits everyone. If my children were to need special education, I would want them to be in the best environment possible. In order for them to feel safe and still get the attention and social experience they need, I would want my children to be mainstreamed.
A solution that many schools these days are turning to is mainstreaming. "Mainstreaming refers to teaching children with special needs in regular classes with other children", says autismuk.com. Basically, it means that the special needs kids would learn in regular classes. That way they can feel included and learn to socialize with different kinds of people. The article goes on to say that separating autistic children only adds to their problems and makes them feel excluded. Mainstreaming would increase opportunities of leadership among the kids. It would help all of them learn to set examples and teach everyone more about autism. The students in the regular classes would start from a young age to learn about autism, which is a very frequent in our society. It is important for them to learn about autism because it can be intimidating and confusing when meeting someone with it for the first time. They might not understand they way they think and learn. By being immersed from a young age with that knowledge, it can help them for the rest of their lives.
Arguments against mainstreaming root from the issue of child-to-student learning. They would say there are not enough teachers to give all the kids the attention that they need. Many parents are concerned that their child will not get the attention needed for special education if their kids are mainstreamed. They would argue against Brett Singer. Singer is a special education specialist, is pro-mainstreaming. His article on autismlearningfelt.com says, "[Separation in schools is] just a way for society to further marginalize children with autism." The parents that are against mainstreaming look past the point that Singer is trying to make about separating the kids. They look past the issue of separation because all they want is the best education for their children, which is understandable.To have the best education possible, they want their kids to feel comfortable and safe while learning to their best abilities, without having to worry that their children's teachers are too busy with a full classroom to help and be distracted by the others.
Mainstreaming verses non-mainstreaming is the argument that many schools are trying to solve. By teaching children with special needs with the "regular" students, all would benefit. All the students would receive attention, teach each other, and most importantly, learn from each other. Everyday, children across the world are picking up their backpacks, meeting their friends at the bus stop, and going to school to learn and socialize. Most of the time, the kids run to their classrooms of thirty other peers and get excited for a brand new day. But what about the children from the special education classes? Where do they fit in amongst the rest? The separation of special education learners and the average classes has recently started to stir up a ruckus. While some believe that mainstreaming the kids is the best fit for learning, others believe that complete separation benefits everyone. If my children were to need special education, I would want them to be in the best environment possible. In order for them to feel safe and still get the attention and social experience they need, I would want my children to be mainstreamed. [Your stance here is good. You’re definitely making an argument. I think it’s a very engaging introduction!]
A solution that many schools these days are turning to is mainstreaming. [Is it just these days? Or has it always been an issue? Why now?]"Mainstreaming refers to teaching children with special needs in regular classes with other children", says autismuk.com. Basically, it means that the special needs kids would learn in regular classes. That way they can feel included and learn to socialize with different kinds of people. [Great elaboration. Mainstreaming makes more sense to me – and it ties in very well with the next sentence!]The article goes on to say that separating autistic children only adds to their problems and makes them feel excluded. Mainstreaming would increase opportunities of leadership among the kids. It would help all of them learn to set examples and teach everyone more about autism. The students in the regular classes would start from a young age to learn about autism, which is a very frequent in our society. [A very frequent what?]It is important for them to learn about autism because it can be intimidating and confusing when meeting someone with it for the first time. [Is it intimidating for the regular student or the student with autism?] They might not understand they way they think and learn. By being immersed from a young age with that knowledge, it can help them for the rest of their lives.[How will it help them? Why should every understand autism?]
Arguments against mainstreaming root from the issue of child-to-student learning. They would say there are not enough teachers to give all the kids the attention that they need. [Who are they?] Many parents are concerned that their child will not get the attention needed for special education if their kids are mainstreamed. [Do these children need a lot more attention? Or just different attention?]They would argue against Brett Singer. Singer is a special education specialist, is pro-mainstreaming. His article on autismlearningfelt.com says, "[Separation in schools is] just a way for society to further marginalize children with autism." [How would it marginalize the children?]The parents that are against mainstreaming look past the point that Singer is trying to make about separating the kids. They look past the issue of separation because all they want is the best education for their children, which is understandable. [Why do they look past it? Is it a fair trade for kids to be separated to have a better education?]To have the best education possible, they want their kids to feel comfortable and safe while learning to their best abilities, without having to worry that their children's teachers are too busy with a full classroom to help and be distracted by the others.
Mainstreaming verses non-mainstreaming is the argument that many schools are trying to solve. [Is there any reason that they’re trying to solve it?] By teaching children with special needs with the "regular" students, all would benefit. All the students would receive attention, teach each other, and most importantly, learn from each other.[In your introduction, you mention that you would want your children to be mainstreamed. Are these the reasons why? Are there things about separation that you don’t like?]
You have a strong paper, in my opinion. =) Just make sure that your introduction and conclusion tie together a little more. It will make your argument come full circle.
Reflection #3 (posted RHS April 23)
What was the purpose of the writing? how successfully did you meet this purpose?
My purpose for writing this argument was to show the different methods of schooling for special needs and argue for mainstreaming the children. I met this purpose by using examples and quotes from various websites and persons.
Explain the exigence that influenced the selection of your topic.
The exigence that influenced me to argue for special needs came from the fact that 3 of my cousins have autism or downs syndrome. I know how it can affect families and how hard schooling can be sometimes.
How does your writing draw attention to the key aspects of your message?
I used bold statements and examples to draw attention.
In waht ways did you create tone to reflect your persona?
I tried to sound educated in the topic to make an educated tone throughout the piece of writing.
Dear Laura,
My name is Emma Nelson and as you probably know, I'm a junior at Roosevelt High School and am in Mr.Johnson and Miss.Lange's APlang class. I've lived in Des Moines my entire life and am also the youngest of four sibilings. Some things you should know about me is that I spend most of my time in the Roosevelt pool. I am in the synchronized swimming club, swim team, and water polo club. I absolutely love being in the water, and even get the reward of being a captain for the swim team this upcoming season. Along with my time in the pool, I am also a member of National Honor Society and a member of the environmental club here at school. I'm going to try tennis this year, but we'll have to see how that goes. I'm out-going, like meeting new people, and try to stay dedicated to the things that I do.
I'm excited to work with you this semester because I feel much more comfortable with my work when i have feed-back to help me. When it comes to any kind of writing, whether it's free writing, creative writing, or an essay, my mind always goes blank on what to say. I like reading books for class, but I'm terrible at analyzing them. I'm hoping that you might be able to help me improve in those areas as we work together.
I'm excited to work with you this upcoming semester!
Sincerely,
Emma Nelson
Hey Emma!
I'm so glad that you're excited about this semester. I'm excited too - and a little nervous, to be honest. I've never worked with someone on their writing before, so I hope I'm helpful! It's great that you like to hear feedback; I always get nervous when other people read my work.
You'd probably like to know more about me. My name is Laura Jordan (as I'm sure you can tell), and I'm a senior at Drake. I'm a double major in Magazine Journalism and English. I've only lived in Des Moines as long as I've been going to Drake. I grew up, mostly, near Seattle. I'm an only child, but I'm very close to my cousins. During high school, I helped coach a local Special Olympics swim team, so I totally understand loving the water. I was also the vice-president of my chapter of Honor Society and the founding editor-in-chief of our newspaper. At Drake, I'm a member (and former vice-president) of a community service fraternity, Alpha Phi Omega. You can probably tell that I love to read and write, and volunteer.
Someday, when I'm a real grown-up, I would like to be a book editor - so I hope this semester is good practice! I'm looking forward to reading your essays. =)
Have a great weekend!
- Laura
Personal Reflection on Topic of Inquiry(posted RHS January 27 -- 171 January 29)
Take a look around you. you can think you know everything there is to know about the people around you. But in reality, the things that drive their personalities are the things kept quiet the most. Of course I know what drives me. I know what makes me who I am. You know what makes you who you are.
According to dictionary.com, autism is a disorder characterized by extreme self-absorption and detachment from one's environment. I dont know about you, but when any dictionary definition involves the adjective "extreme" I might feel a little intimidated. That is why this is my topic of inquiry. Why is autism so intimidating?
Say that you and a friend are out to lunch at that cute new sandwich shop downtown. You're sitting down about to order when you notice man across the room that you know has autism. You're first reaction is to wonder what to do. Should I say hi? What do I do? That sudden intimidation is normal, but why? I've grown up with three cousins that live their lives with autism and one with downs syndrome. They have affected my life in many ways because they have taught me to enjoy the things in life that most take for granted. One of my cousins, Seth, for example is probably one of the happiest children I have ever met. Seth gets excited and makes the biggest events out of the smallest joys in life. The reason they drive me to who I am is because I try to live everyday like its the best day of my life, like nothing can bring me down.
But the question I still wonder everyday, is why? Why is this subject so intimidating? Why is there so much to understand, yet so little at the same time? Its still intimidating for me. Theres so much I just dont understand and I think thats what intimidates me the most. I still wonder why these certain people and their families were the ones randomly put to this test everyday. I wonder how its possible that they can affect my sense of being (in a good way) so much and yet they dont even realize it.
Take a look around you. you can think you know everything there is to know about the people around you. But in reality, the things that drive their personalities are the things kept quiet the most. Why do the quiet things drive us the most? How are they different from what everyone else can see? Of course I know what drives me. I know what makes me who I am. You know what makes you who you are.
I really like where you're going with the intro - it definitely gets me thinking! Do you think that you could tie it in to autism, or your 'quiet' experiences with autism a little more?
According to dictionary.com, autism is a disorder characterized by extreme self-absorption and detachment from one's environment. I dont know about you, but when any dictionary definition involves the adjective "extreme" I might feel a little intimidated. [That is why this is my topic of inquiry.] I don't know if you need to say this, since you're already doing a great job of showing me something that's affected you. Why is autism so intimidating?
Is there anything else that you can pull out of the definition that makes autism seem so intimidating? Like, is it weird or hard to think about not being attached to one's environment?
Say that you and a friend are out to lunch at that cute new sandwich shop downtown. You're sitting down about to order when you notice man across the room that you know has autism. You're first reaction is to wonder what to do. Should I say hi? What do I do? First of all, I love that you're setting a scene. Next, what is different about seeing someone you know with autism than someone else you know? How are the strangers in the sandwich shop reacting to the man with autism? That sudden intimidation is normal, but why? I've grown up with three cousins that live their lives with autism and one with downs syndrome. They have affected my life in many ways because they have taught me to enjoy the things in life that most take for granted. I'm curious! Like what? One of my cousins, Seth, for example is probably one of the happiest children I have ever met. Seth gets excited and makes the biggest events out of the smallest joys in life. I want to know more! =) Can you tell me about a time Seth was so excited about something small? The reason they drive me to who I am is because I try to live everyday like its the best day of my life, like nothing can bring me down.
But the question I still wonder everyday, is why? Why is this subject so intimidating? Why is there so much to understand, yet so little at the same time? Is it the research and science stuff about autism that is too much? Why is there also so little, if there is so much to understand? Its still intimidating for me. Theres so much I just dont understand and I think thats what intimidates me the most. I still wonder why these certain people and their families were the ones randomly put to this test everyday. I wonder how its possible that they can affect my sense of being (in a good way) so much and yet they dont even realize it.
At the end here, you stumble on some big questions, which is awesome. Does thinking about these random people make you question anything about yourself, your life, or your family?
Emma,
I loved reading your reflection. I think you picked an interesting (and tough) topic. Autism is definitely an intimidating subject. I liked reading about your experiences with your cousins; I just wanted to know more!
You have a great voice through your writing. It was very relatable and easy to read (a nice break from some of my stuffy course readings!).
Let me know if you have any questions about my feedback!
Rough Draft Definition (posted RHS February 3 -- 171 February 5)
Challenges are the things that everyone has. Every person was born with challenges that can be very obvious or challenges that could be non-apparent till later on in life. The callenges that affect many in my life revolve around the mysterious world of autism. Challenges come from decisions. Decisions come from situations. Nobody can choose if the challenges that enter their lives are easy ones. The fact that they are difficult make them a challenge.
A misconstrued idea that challenges are bad can scare someone away from a situation. Many outcomes help are hidden blessings that teach hidden little lessons. Knowing the difference between something good and something bad can make a huge difference. Think of it like this. You just heard that someone in you life is diagnosed with cancer. Although the pain is deep, don't ignore the strength and love that comes to the surface at that time.
Its very possible to have challenges in your life and not even realize it. The problems and situations loved one's lives can unknowingly also affect you life. The butterfly affect is in full swing. Every decision and every outcome pushes you and your decisions. Maybe you dont know if the posssible challenges in you life will have good or bad outcome. Theres no way to tell except to go out and just see.
Not all challenges that will enter your life will be the same. One of your friends might be having health problems while your aunt is having financial issues while your neighbors are struggling after a house fire. So many things can be affecting your life and all you want to do is solve the problems. Make the challenges dissapear and be the hero. iT sound nice, doesn't it? Truth is, it's basically impossible to get rid of or solve these situations overnight. The thing that makes a challange a challenge is that they make you think. They make you pick your brain and learn from every situation.
http://dssresources.com/faq/index.php?action=artikel&id=178
http://www.hellomylo.com/eGuide/Learning/What-are-Challenges
http://www.thirteen.org/edonline/concept2class/constructivism/explor_sub2.html
http://familydoctor.org/familydoctor/en/prevention-wellness/emotional-wellbeing/mental-health/stress-how-to-cope-better-with-lifes-challenges.html
http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/
Challenges are {the things} that everyone has. This sounds very specific. What kind of things do you mean? Every person was born with challenges that can be very obvious or challenges that could be non-apparent till later on in life. Do all challenges come from birth? The challenges that affect many in my life revolve around the mysterious world of autism. This is the only place you mention autism in the essay. Can you relate your personal experience with the effects of autism to the rest of the essay, through personal stories and examples? Challenges come from decisions. This sentence contradicts what you said about everyone being born with challenges. Decisions come from situations. What kind of situations require decisions? Nobody can choose if the challenges that enter their lives are easy ones. The fact that they are difficult make them a challenge.
Be careful not to restate the same things just to fill space! =)
A misconstrued idea that challenges are bad can scare someone away from a situation. {Many outcomes help are hidden blessings that teach hidden little lessons.} Outcomes of what? How do they teach lessons? What are the lessons? Knowing the difference between something good and something bad can make a huge difference. Think of it like this. You just heard that someone in you life is diagnosed with cancer. Although the pain is deep, {don't ignore} the strength and love that comes to the surface at that time. I think the phrasing of this sentence doesn’t really get your meaning across. ‘Don’t ignore’ sounds a little commanding to me.
I think you could elaborate on this example a little bit more. It just ends and doesn’t show me how a bad situation/challenge can have a helpful outcome.
It’s very possible to have challenges in your life and not even realize it. The problems and {situations} loved one's lives can unknowingly also affect you life. You talk about the vague ‘situations’ again. How can the problems in loved one’s lives affect you too? The butterfly effect is in full swing. Every decision and every outcome pushes you and your decisions. Can you explain how you’re using the butterfly effect? How does it relate to making decisions and loved ones challenges? Maybe you don’t know if the possible challenges in your life will have good or bad outcome. Why does it matter if the outcome is good or bad? How does this connect with knowing that you have challenges in your life? There’s no way to tell except to go out and just see.
Not all challenges that will enter your life will be the same. One of your friends might be having health problems while your aunt is having financial issues while your neighbors are struggling after a house fire. {So many things can be affecting your life and all you want to do is solve the problems. Make the challenges disappear and be the hero. It sound nice, doesn't it? Truth is, it's basically impossible to get rid of or solve these situations overnight.} Here, you talk about fixing problems. How does fixing or coping with challenges make you learn or grow? The thing that makes a challenge a challenge is that they make you think. They make you pick your brain and learn from every {situation.} You use the vague ‘situation’ again!
It’s hard to define something as broad and varying as a ‘challenges.’ I like that you focused on the idea of learning from them as a part of your definition. You make a lot of great points, but the essay feels a little disjointed. Can you bring in more examples or definitions to help tie your ideas together?
Revision Definition (posted RHS February 10 -- 171 February 12 )
Everyone comes face to face with challenging decisions at least once each day. How am i going to get to school on an empty tank of gas? When on earth did we learn the things on this mind twisting test? Since the day each one of us was born, difficult situations have snuck their way into our path of direction. The way we choose to handle these challenges come from the ways we learn to make decisions. This can be easy as choosing the teal paint over the light blue paint. The carpet and paint matching dilemma is solved! If that is the only challenging decision in you life than you are one lucky person. Try to think about the last time you were face to face with a challenge. What did you do?
A misconstrued idea that challenges are bad can scare someone away from a situation. Many outcomes are hidden blessings that teach hidden lessons. I once heard that something good always comes from something bad. Kind of like the calm after the storm. Knowing the difference between something helpful and something destructive can make a huge difference. Think of it like this. You just heard that someone in you life is diagnosed with cancer. Although the pain is deep, try to see the strength and love that comes to the surface at that time.
Its possible to have challenges in your life and not even realize it. Autism is a mental condition, present from early childhood. Several of my family members have been diagnosed with it, but theres really no way to understand what the challenges they face are unless you switch places with them. And thats probably not happening any time soon. A difficulity they deal with every single day is the personal communication one has on a daily basis. What seems like the worlds easiest task is confusing and intimidating. Now think back to that challenge you've had lately. You probably felt confused and intimidated when it came to finding the answer on how to fix it. Theres really no way to see if those scary challenges in your life will have good or bad outcome. The only way to find the solution is to go out and just see.
Not all challenges that enter your life will be the same. One of your friends might be having health problems while your aunt is having financial issues while your neighbors are struggling after a house fire. So many things can be affecting your life and all you want to do is solve the problems. Make the challenges dissapear and be the hero. It sound nice, doesn't it? Fixing or coping with challenges make you learn and grow because they help you see where your true strengths as a human are.The thing that makes a challange a challenge is that they make you think. They make you pick your brain and learn from every problem.
Everyone comes face to face with challenging decisions at least once each day. How am i going to get to school on an empty tank of gas? When on earth did we learn the things on this mind twisting test? [Are these decisions or situations? Is there a difference? If so, what is it?] Since the day each one of us was born, difficult situations have snuck their way into our path of direction. [I really like the way that this sentence begins, but ‘path of direction’ seems either redundant or like it could be a little more defined.] The way we choose to handle these challenges come from the ways we learn to make decisions. [How do they relate?] This can be easy as choosing the teal paint over the light blue paint. The carpet and paint matching dilemma is solved! If that is the only challenging decision in you life than you are one lucky person. Try to think about the last time you were face to face with a challenge. What did you do? [I love that you’re involving the reader here.]
A misconstrued idea that challenges are bad can scare someone away from a situation. Many outcomes are hidden blessings that teach hidden lessons. I once heard that something good always comes from something bad. Kind of like the calm after the storm. [Can you elaborate here on how something good comes from something bad?] Knowing the difference between something helpful and something destructive can make a huge difference. Think of it like this. You just heard that someone in you life is diagnosed with cancer. Although the pain is deep, try to see the strength and love that comes to the surface at that time. [This is an interesting example. How do strength or love appear when someone has cancer? Does the good outshine the bad?]
Its possible to have challenges in your life and not even realize it. [These two ideas don’t seem to connect. Isn’t autism a pretty noticeable challenge?] Autism is a mental condition, present from early childhood. Several of my family members have been diagnosed with it, but theres really no way to understand what the challenges they face are unless you switch places with them. And thats probably not happening any time soon. A difficulity they deal with every single day is the personal communication one has on a daily basis. What seems like the worlds easiest task is confusing and intimidating. Now think back to that challenge you've had lately. You probably felt confused and intimidated when it came to finding the answer on how to fix it. [I think this is a great point, about the everyday challenges of autism. It could work better as its own paragraph. I’m not sure it relates to having challenges without realizing them.] Theres really no way to see if those scary challenges in your life will have good or bad outcome. The only way to find the solution is to go out and just see. [These last two sentences don’t really connect with where I thought this paragraph was heading.]
Not all challenges that enter your life will be the same. One of your friends might be having health problems while your aunt is having financial issues while your neighbors are struggling after a house fire. [Why is it important that the problems/challenges are different?] So many things can be affecting your life and all you want to do is solve the problems. Make the challenges dissapear and be the hero. It sound nice, doesn't it? Fixing or coping with challenges make you learn and grow [how?] because they help you see where your true strengths as a human are.The thing that makes a challange a challenge is that they make you think. They make you pick your brain and learn from every problem. [How/why do challenges make you think? What does it do for you?]
I think you did a great job expanding on some of your ideas from your first draft. There’s a lot of good points in your essay, but some of them need to be made a little bit clearer. You used a personal example about autism in your third paragraph, but the rest of the essay uses hypothetical situations. Can you link autism to your other points about challenges?
Final Definition (posted RHS February 17 -- 171 February 19 )
Everyone comes face to face with decisions at least once each day. How am i going to get to school on an empty tank of gas? Do I want Cheerios for breakfast, or Lucky Charms? Since the day each one of us was born, difficult situations have snuck their way into our lives. The way we choose to handle these challenges come from the ways we learn to make decisions. This can be easy as choosing the teal paint over the light blue paint. The carpet and paint matching dilemma is solved! If that is the only challenging decision in you life than you are one lucky person. Try to think about the last time you were face to face with a challenge. What did you do?
Autism is a mental condition, present from early childhood. Several of my family members have been diagnosed with it, but theres really no way to understand what the challenges they face are unless you switch places with them. And thats probably not happening any time soon. A difficulity they deal with every single day is the personal communication one has on a daily basis. What seems like the worlds easiest task is confusing and intimidating. Now think back to that challenge you've had lately. You probably felt confused and intimidated when it came to finding the answer on how to fix it.
A misconstrued idea that challenges are bad can scare someone away from a situation. Many outcomes are hidden blessings that teach hidden lessons. I once heard that something good always comes from something bad. Kind of like the calm after the storm. The rainbow over a flooded town. I remember the day my cousin Seth was born. It was nine years ago and i had just finished talking to my aunt on the phone. She sounded so sad, and my mom looked as if she had been crying. I have a new cousin! What could possibly be so sad? Although the news of his syndrome was hard to hear, and difficult to understand, I now know how much he has changed my life for the better. He is one person that will always make me smile and I can laugh with for days. Think of it like this. You just heard that someone in you life is diagnosed with cancer. Although the pain is deep, it's more helpful if you find the strength and love that comes to the surface at that time.
Not all challenges that enter your life will be the same. One of your friends might be having health problems while your aunt is having financial issues while your neighbors are struggling after a house fire. So many things can be affecting your life and all you want to do is solve the problems. Make the challenges dissapear and be the hero. It sound nice, doesn't it? Fixing or coping with challenges make you learn and grow because they help you see where your true strengths as a human are.The thing that makes a challange a challenge is that they make you think. They make you pick your brain and learn from every problem.
Extra credit due April 11:
Emma Nelson
Lange Johnson
AP Language and Composition
21 February 2012
Definition Essay
Everyone comes face to face with decisions at least once each day. How am I going to get to school on an empty tank of gas? Do I want Cheerios for breakfast or Lucky Charms? Since the day each one of us was born, difficult situations have snuck their way into our lives. The way we choose to handle these challenges come from the ways we learn to make decisions. This can be as easy as choosing the teal paint over the light blue paint. The carpet and paint matching dilemma is solved! If that is the only challenging decision in life than that is one lucky person. Try to think about the last time you were face to face with a challenge. What did you do?
Autism is a mental condition, present from early childhood. Several of my family members have been diagnosed with it, but there's really no way to understand what the challenges they face are unless you switch places with them, and that's probably not happening any time soon. A difficulty they deal with every single day is the personal communication one has on a daily basis. What seems like the worlds easiest task is confusing and intimidating. Now think back to that challenge you've had lately. You probably felt confused and intimidated when it came to finding the answer on how to fix it.
A misconstrued idea that challenges are bad can scare someone away from a situation. Many outcomes are hidden blessings that teach unexpected lessons. I once heard that something good always comes from something bad, kind of like the calm after the storm. The rainbow over a flooded town. I remember the day my cousin Seth was born. It was nine years ago, and I had just finished talking to my aunt on the phone. She sounded so sad, and my mom looked as if she had been crying. I have a new cousin! What could possibly be so sad? Although the news of his syndrome was hard to hear and difficult to understand, I now know how much he has changed my life for the better. He is one person that will always make me smile, and I can laugh with for days. Think of it like this. You just heard that someone in you life is diagnosed with cancer. Although the pain is deep, it's more helpful if you find the strength and love that comes to the surface at that time.
Not all challenges that enter your life will be the same. One of your friends might be having health problems while your aunt is having financial issues while your neighbors are struggling after a house fire. So many things can be affecting your life, and all you want to do is solve the problems. Make the challenges disappear and be the hero. It sound nice, doesn't it? Fixing or coping with challenges make you learn and grow because they help you see where your true strengths as a human are. By fixing or finding the long sought after for solution, you are actually finding those hidden lessons. The thing that makes a challenge a challenge is that they make you think. They make you pick your brain and learn from every problem.
Everyone comes face to face with decisions at least once each day. How am i going to get to school on an empty tank of gas? Do I want Cheerios for breakfast, or Lucky Charms? Since the day each one of us was born, difficult situations have snuck their way into our lives. [This might be a good place to explain how ‘situations’ relate to ‘challenges.’ How decisions fit into those situations or challenges?] The way we choose to handle these challenges come from the ways we learn to make decisions. This can be easy as choosing the teal paint over the light blue paint. The carpet and paint matching dilemma is solved! [Where does the carpet come from? You mentioned paint in your hypothetical, but not carpet.] If that is the only challenging decision in you life than you are one lucky person. Try to think about the last time you were face to face with a challenge. What did you do? [Are there any other questions you could ask that would get the reader to think of what challenges are like?]
Autism is a mental condition, present from early childhood. Several of my family members have been diagnosed with it, but theres really no way to understand what the challenges they face are unless you switch places with them. And thats probably not happening any time soon. A difficulity they deal with every single day is the personal communication one has on a daily basis. [How is communicating difficult? Is it different from what people without autism experience?]What seems like the worlds easiest task is confusing and intimidating. Now think back to that challenge you've had lately. You probably felt confused and intimidated when it came to finding the answer on how to fix it. [Is that how you think autism challenges would make you feel?]
A misconstrued idea that challenges are bad can scare someone away from a situation. Many outcomes are hidden blessings that teach hidden lessons. [‘Hidden’ gets a little redundant here. What separates the hidden blessings from the hidden lessons?] I once heard that something good always comes from something bad. Kind of like the calm after the storm. The rainbow over a flooded town. I remember the day my cousin Seth was born. It was nine years ago and i had just finished talking to my aunt on the phone. She sounded so sad, and my mom looked as if she had been crying. I have a new cousin! What could possibly be so sad? Although the news of his syndrome was hard to hear, and difficult to understand, I now know how much he has changed my life for the better. [I know that your cousin has autism, but another reader might be confused about what Seth’s ‘syndrome’ is. I love this anecdote, though!]He is one person that will always make me smile and I can laugh with for days. Think of it like this. You just heard that someone in you life is diagnosed with cancer. [Because you have your personal example, I don’t think you need this hypothetical about cancer.] Although the pain is deep, it's more helpful if you find the strength and love that comes to the surface at that time.
Not all challenges that enter your life will be the same. One of your friends might be having health problems while your aunt is having financial issues while your neighbors are struggling after a house fire. So many things can be affecting your life and all you want to do is solve the problems. [Why do we want to solve the problems? Is that what makes them problems?] Make the challenges dissapear and be the hero. It sound nice, doesn't it? Fixing or coping with challenges make you learn and grow because they help you see where your true strengths as a human are. [Does fixing the challenges relate to the hidden lessons that you mentioned earlier?] The thing that makes a challange a challenge is that they make you think. They make you pick your brain and learn from every problem.
It’s great that you brought in more personal examples about your cousin. Can you think of more ways to tie the whole essay together? How do each of your main points connect? How do you define the differences between situations and decisions? Does a challenge have to involve a decision?
Reflection #1 (posted RHS February 20 -- 171 February 22)
The purpose of my writing is to broaden my readers' knowledge of the challenges that children of autism face on a daily basis. I wanted my readers to think of the challenges in their lives and think about how they decide to deal with those situations. My exigence for writing this essay is from my experiences with my cousins that have Downs Syndrome or other types of autism. I think i reached my goals of writing because i hit the key points and used several example to help the readers understand my main ideas better.
Which key points did you hit? What kind of examples did you use? How did they help the readers understand your ideas? Why is it important for your readers to think about the challenges of children with autism?
Rough Draft Comparison (posted RHS February 24 -- 171 February 26 )
In a world of different diagnosis's and millions of differnt people, it can be incredibly difficult to realize the difference between severe syndromes, and hardly noticable ones.Severe diagnosis's could range from Down Syndrome to Autism which is as common as about 3,400 people per 100,000 people in the US alone. Compared to those disorders, there are many that are not on the same spectrum of severity. You may not even realize that the person you are talking to has been diagnosed with anything.With all the mental conditions in the world, it can be impossible to know just what people have been through, and the difficulties they struggle with each and every day.
Some of the more severe and noticable kinds of Autism are Down Syndrome and disorders that can effect their dependancy on others all throughout their lives. The different stages of mental disorders can be catagorized my mild, morderate and severe and profound.
You may see someone in the halls or at a concert and have no clue that they have to work a lot harder in order to maintain "normal" social skills. The skills that are most needed and sometimes harder to obtain can be difficult due to what cna be mild disorders, like Aspergers. The causes for any of these disorders can be biological or come from social influences. Social influences have been found to be important, including abuse, bullying, neglect, and social stress. Those have been found to be factors that might increase the severity of one's condition.
Conclusin:
Restate how the main misconceptions are different-
Tie it all up in a similar thesis-
Intro:
Hook- In a world of different diagnosises and millions of differnt people, it can be incredibly difficult to realize the difference between severe syndromes, and hardly noticable ones.
Two main points-
Thesis-
Since this is more of an outline than a rough draft, what is your thesis? What are your main points? What is the importance of recognizing differences between syndromes?
Point #1:
Explain the different types of autism-
What the different types mean or how they are catagorized-
What are the different types? How are they different?
Point #2:
Explain the difference between the severities of the different kinds of autism-
Compare them to eachother-
This point seems very similar to the one above – what makes it a different point, not just a continuation of the first?
Conclusin:
Restate how the main misconceptions are different-
Tie it all up in a similar thesis-
Where did misconceptions come from? Is that a part of one of your points?
There isn’t a lot here for me to give you feedback on. What are your main points? How are you going to make an argument to the reader? Don’t forget to use spell-check!
Revision Comparison (posted RHS March 2 -- 171 March 4)
In a world of different diagnosis's and millions of different people, it can be incredibly difficult to realize the difference between severe syndromes, and hardly noticeable ones. Severe diagnosis's could range from Down Syndrome to Autism which is as common as about 3,400 people per 100,000 people in the US alone. Compared to those disorders, there are many that are not on the same spectrum of severity. You may not even realize that the person you are talking to has been diagnosed with anything. With all the mental conditions in the world, it can be impossible to know just what people have been through, and the difficulties they struggle with each and every day.
Some of the more severe and noticeable kinds of Autism are Down Syndrome and disorders that can effect their dependency on others all throughout their lives. The different stages of mental disorders can be categorized my mild, moderate and severe and profound.
You may see someone in the halls or at a concert and have no clue that they have to work a lot harder in order to maintain "normal" social skills. The skills that are most needed and sometimes harder to obtain can be difficult due to what can be mild disorders, like Aspersers. The causes for any of these disorders can be biological or come from social influences. Social influences have been found to be important, including abuse, bullying, neglect, and social stress. Those have been found to be factors that might increase the severity of one's condition.
The different kinds of disorders can be difficult to tell a part, or even just hard to notice. From severe autism, to mild social stress- not everyone knows or understands the different struggles each person has.
==
==
In a world of different diagnoses and millions of different people, it can be incredibly difficult to realize the difference between severe syndromes, and hardly noticeable ones. [Are all severe syndromes noticeable? Are different syndromes hard to see in different people?] Severe diagnoses could range from Down Syndrome to Autism which is as common as about 3,400 people per 100,000 people in the US alone. [Great fact, but this sentence gets a little confusing. Is the statistic about Downs or autism?]Compared to those disorders, there are many that are not on the same {spectrum of severity}. [What is a spectrum of severity? What are the differences?] You may not even realize that the person you are talking to has been diagnosed with anything. With all the mental conditions in the world, it can be impossible to know just what people have been through, and the difficulties they struggle with each and every day. [Nice, strong statements at the end here.]Some of the more severe and noticeable kinds of Autism are Down Syndrome and disorders that can effect their dependency on others all throughout their lives. [What are some of the differences between these different disorders? What are some of the mild disorders?] The different stages of mental disorders can be categorized by mild, moderate and severe and profound. [How are these stages different? What are examples of some of these categories?]
You may see someone in the halls or at a concert and have no clue that they have to work a lot harder in order to maintain "normal" social skills. The skills that are most needed and sometimes harder to obtain can be difficult due to what can be mild disorders, like Asperger’s. [I like where this sentence goes – but I think it’s a little clunky and confusing.] The causes for any of these disorders can be biological or come from social influences. Social influences have been found to be important, including abuse, bullying, neglect, and social stress. Those have been found to be factors that might increase the severity of one's condition. [That’s really interesting! How do they increase the severity? What happened to the biological influences?]
The different kinds of disorders can be difficult to tell a part, or even just hard to notice. From severe autism, to mild social stress- not everyone knows or understands the different struggles each person has. [What else can you tell me about how struggles are different? Why are some hard to notice?]
I think you’re really starting into some interesting (and difficult) content! =) Can you add a little more detail about some of the terms you’re using, like spectrum of severity, or brief descriptions of some of the disorders? I don’t know enough about the different disorders to know which ones are mild or how they appear in most people.
Final Comparison (posted RHS March 9 -- 171 March 11)
In a world of different diagnoses and millions of different people, it can be incredibly difficult to realize the difference between severe syndromes, and hardly noticeable ones. Not all syndromes are severe. The severity depends on their social awareness and can also be noticed from their biological traits. Severe diagnoses could range from Down Syndrome to Autism. Autism is as common as about 3,400 people per 100,000 people in the US alone. Compared to those disorders, there are many that are not on the same spectrum of severity. A spectrum of severity sounds a little strange, but it is just a way of categorizing people's syndromes and disorders to help doctors and parents understand their needs more.You may not even realize that the person you are talking to has been diagnosed with anything. With all the mental conditions in the world, it can be impossible to know just what people have been through, and the difficulties they struggle with each and every day.
Some of the more severe and noticeable kinds of Autism are Down Syndrome and disorders that can effect their dependency on others all throughout their lives. The different stages of mental disorders can be categorized by mild, moderate and severe, and profound. An example of a milder syndrome is Triple X. It is caused when a child is born with and extra X chromosome in each cell. Development in a child with XXX would be a bit slower and would have delayed motor skills and poor coordination.
You may see someone in the halls or at a concert and have no clue that they have to work a lot harder in order to maintain "normal" social skills. The skills that are most needed can be harder to obtain for those with mild disorders, like Aspergers.The causes for any of these disorders can be biological or come from social influences. Social influences have been found to be important, including abuse, bullying, neglect, and social stress. Those have been found to be factors that might increase the severity of one's condition. It's hard for children to completely understand their disorders, so by adding neglect and abuse to their lives, everything is more confusing and they tend to shut down emotionally. Some families have gene pools that tend to run higher in the chances of having children born with these conditions. Sometimes these abnormal genes or chromosomes are passed down from a parent, and sometimes they occur spontaneously without reason.
The different kinds of disorders can be difficult to tell a part, or even just hard to notice. Nobody lives with a blatant sign on their chest explaining all of their life challenges, so its tough to see what you don't know. Imagine being picked on or looked at as a freak or social outsider. Imagine what it would feel like to know that everyone else around you is growing faster, and there is nothing you can do to change that. From severe autism, to mild social stress- not everyone knows or understands the different struggles each person has.
=
=
In a world of different diagnoses and millions of different people, it can be incredibly difficult to realize the difference between severe syndromes, and hardly noticeable ones. [Is this your comparison?] Not all syndromes are severe. The severity depends on their social awareness and can also be noticed from their biological traits. [Is it social awareness for the person with the syndrome, or the awareness of others around them?] Severe diagnoses could range from Down Syndrome to Autism. Autism is as common as about 3,400 people per 100,000 people in the US alone. [That’s a lot – are there any statistics for Down syndrome, or other lesser known syndromes?] Compared to those disorders, there are many that are not on the same spectrum of severity. A spectrum of severity sounds a little strange, but it is just a way of categorizing people's syndromes and disorders to help doctors and parents understand their needs more better. You may not even realize that the person you are talking to has been diagnosed with anything. With all the mental conditions in the world, it can be impossible to know just what people have been through, and the difficulties they struggle with each and every day. [I like this sentence – I think it would make more sense to me if it was near the beginning of this paragraph though.]Some of the more severe and noticeable kinds of Autism are Down Syndrome and disorders that can effect their dependency on others all throughout their lives. [I always thought autism and Down syndrome were different things. How are they similar? What makes them different?] The different stages of mental disorders can be categorized by mild, moderate and severe, and profound. An example of a milder syndrome is Triple X. It is caused when a child is born with and extra X chromosome in each cell. Development in a child with XXX would be a bit slower and would have delayed motor skills and poor coordination. [Interesting! I’ve never heard of Triple X. How does its symptoms compare with autism and Down syndrome?]
You may see someone in the halls or at a concert and have no clue that they have to work a lot harder in order to maintain "normal" social skills. [What is normal, though?] The skills that are most needed can be harder to obtain for those with mild disorders, like Aspergers. The causes for any of these disorders can be biological or come from social influences. [I think you hit on an important point here, but I don’t read the sentence naturally.] Social influences have been found to be important, including abuse, bullying, neglect, and social stress. Those have been found to be factors that might increase the severity of one's condition. [Where have these things been found? Cite a source if you need to!] It's hard for children to completely understand their disorders, so by adding neglect and abuse to their lives, everything is more confusing and they tend to shut down emotionally. Some families have gene pools that tend to run higher in the chances of having children born with these conditions. Sometimes these abnormal genes or chromosomes are passed down from a parent, and sometimes they occur spontaneously without reason. [How does the source of these disorders affect social influences?]
The different kinds of disorders can be difficult to tell a part, or even just hard to notice. [Do we have to notice? Is it better if we know?] Nobody lives with a blatant sign on their chest explaining all of their life challenges, so its tough to see what you don't know. Imagine being picked on or looked at as a freak or social outsider. Imagine what it would feel like to know that everyone else around you is growing faster, and there is nothing you can do to change that. From severe autism, to mild social stress- not everyone knows or understands the different struggles each person has. [How does this relate to a comparison?]
I lost sight of the comparison. You bring in a lot of very interesting information, but I have a hard time seeing how it compares, or what it’s comparing to. Is the essay comparing autism with Down syndrome, or people with disorders to “normal” people? I still think you’re hitting important and interesting topics!
Reflection #2 (RHS March 16 -- 171 March 25)
The purpose of my writing was to compare and contrast the world of severe mental disorders and hardly noticable mental conditions. The style of my essay was in block. I used block so that i could easily explain and give examples about each condition. Something that I thought I did well with was my examples and explainations of the different kinds of disorders and how they can change one's life and personality.
I'm so sorry about posting this so late! I havent been keeping up to date on the wiki and so I didn't notice the reflection. Thank you for helping me!
I think you did a great job using examples when you explained the different disorders. Are there any sources that you can use and cite for more statistics and facts? Could you go into more detail about the effects of the differences between disorders?
No worries about it being late! I'm glad you got it in. =)
Rough Draft Argument (posted RHS April 6 -- 171 April 8)
Everyday, children across the world are picking up their backpacks, meeting their friends at the bus stop, and going to school to learn and socialize. Most of the time, the kids run to their classrooms of thirty others and get excited for a brand new day. But what about the children from the special education classes and where do they fit in amongst the rest? The separation of special education learners and the average classes has recently started to stir up a ruckus. While some believe that mainstreaming the kids is the best fit for learning, others believe that complete separation benefits everyone.
"Mainstreaming refers to reaching children with special needs in regular classes with other children", says autismuk.com. The article goes on the say that separating autistic children only adds to their problems and makes them feels excluded. Mainstreaming would increase opportunities of leadership among the kids. Setting examples and teaching everyone more about autism.
Arguments against mainstreaming root from the issue of child-to-student learning. Many parents are concerned that their child will not get the attention needed for special education. They would argue against Brett Singer of autismlearningfelt.com that says, "[Separation in schools is] just a way for society to further marginalize children with autism." The parents that are against mainstreaming, want the best education for their children without having to worry that their children's teachers are too busy with a full classroom to help the others.
Everyday, children across the world are picking up their backpacks, meeting their friends at the bus stop, and going to school to learn and socialize. [Strong setting at the beginning here. I like it!] Most of the time, the kids run to their classrooms of thirty others [other what?] and get excited for a brand new day. But what about the children from the special education classes and where do they fit in amongst the rest? [They aren’t excited to start a new day too? Why not? Do other children treat them differently? Are the special education classes not fun or helpful for them?] The separation of special education learners and the average classes has recently started to stir up a ruckus. While some believe that mainstreaming the kids is the best fit for learning, others believe that complete separation benefits everyone. [Since this is an argument, what do you believe is the best fit?]
"Mainstreaming refers to reaching children with special needs in regular classes with other children", says autismuk.com. [Can you introduce your quote a little more? What article are you talking about?] The article goes on the say that separating autistic children only adds to their problems and makes them feels excluded. Mainstreaming would increase opportunities of leadership among the kids. Setting examples and teaching everyone more about autism. [I think this fragment is probably your main point for this paragraph about why mainstreaming is good. Can you bring in more examples or facts?]
Arguments against mainstreaming root from the issue of child-to-student learning. [What’s the issue?] Many parents are concerned that their child will not get the attention needed for special education. They would argue against Brett Singer [who is he? If he is pro-mainstreaming, why is he in this paragraph?] of autismlearningfelt.com that who says, "[Separation in schools is] just a way for society to further marginalize children with autism." The parents that are against mainstreaming, want the best education [what is the best education? Is it the same for kids with disabilities and kids without?] for their children without having to worry that their children's teachers are too busy with a full classroom to help the others.
I think you have a great start here. I just want to know what your overall argument is going to be. Are you arguing for or against mainstreaming? From what I can tell, your sources so far seem to be pro-mainstreaming.
Just keep working and adding more details. I’m excited to see where this goes!
Revision Argument (posted RHS April 13 -- 171 April 15)
Everyday, children across the world are picking up their backpacks, meeting their friends at the bus stop, and going to school to learn and socialize. Most of the time, the kids run to their classrooms of thirty other peers and get excited for a brand new day. But what about the children from the special education classes and where do they fit in amongst the rest? The separation of special education learners and the average classes has recently started to stir up a ruckus. While some believe that mainstreaming the kids is the best fit for learning, others believe that complete separation benefits everyone. Honestly, I don't know how to feel about mainstreaming. If my children were to need special education, I would want them to be in the best environment possible. The only thing is, what is the best environment?
A solution that many schools these days are turning to is mainstreaming. "Mainstreaming refers to teaching children with special needs in regular classes with other children", says autismuk.com. The article goes on the say that separating autistic children only adds to their problems and makes them feel excluded. Mainstreaming would increase opportunities of leadership among the kids. It would help all of them learn to set examples and teach everyone more about autism. The students in the regular classes would start from a young age to learn about autism, which is a big thing in our society.
Arguments against mainstreaming root from the issue of child-to-student learning, and that the ratio is too little. Many parents are concerned that their child will not get the attention needed for special education. They would argue against Brett Singer. Singer is a special education specialist, is pro-mainstreaming. His article on autismlearningfelt.com says, "[Separation in schools is] just a way for society to further marginalize children with autism." The parents that are against mainstreaming, want the best education for their children. To have the best education possible, they want their kids to feel comfortable and safe while learning to their best abilities, without having to worry that their children's teachers are too busy with a full classroom to help and be distracted by the others.
Everyday, children across the world are picking up their backpacks, meeting their friends at the bus stop, and going to school to learn and socialize. Most of the time, the kids run to their classrooms of thirty other peers and get excited for a brand new day. But what about the children from the special education classes and where do they fit in amongst the rest? [I feel like this question could be two separate questions, if you take out the ‘and.’] The separation of special education learners and the average classes has recently started to stir up a ruckus. While some believe that mainstreaming the kids is the best fit for learning, others believe that complete separation benefits everyone. Honestly, I don't know how to feel about mainstreaming. If my children were to need special education, I would want them to be in the best environment possible. The only thing is, what is the best environment? [Good question at the end here. My only concern is that this is an argument paper, so you might need to take a stronger stance than being unsure.]
A solution that many schools these days are turning to is mainstreaming. "Mainstreaming refers to teaching children with special needs in regular classes with other children", says autismuk.com. [Can you define mainstreaming in your own terms, and then quote something else from AutismUK?]The article goes on the say that separating autistic children only adds to their problems and makes them feel excluded. Mainstreaming would increase opportunities of leadership among the kids. It would help all of them learn to set examples and teach everyone more about autism. The students in the regular classes would start from a young age to learn about autism, which is a big thing in our society. [What is a big thing? Why is important for “regular” students to learn about autism?]
Arguments against mainstreaming root from the issue of child-to-student learning, and that the ratio is too little. [I get a little confused when I read this first sentence. I think there might be too much info for just one sentence.]Many parents are concerned that their child will not get the attention needed for special education. They would argue against Brett Singer. [Not sure this sentence is necessary – if he is pro-mainstreaming, then people that don’t like it are probably against it.] Singer is a special education specialist, is pro-mainstreaming. His article on autismlearningfelt.com says, "[Separation in schools is] just a way for society to further marginalize children with autism." The parents that are against mainstreaming, want the best education for their children. [How does Singer’s quote relation to parents wanting the best education?]To have the best education possible, they want their kids to feel comfortable and safe while learning to their best abilities, without having to worry that their children's teachers are too busy with a full classroom to help and be distracted by the others.
It’s still looking good! I’d like to see where you’re going to end this, though. Will you be able to define what the best environment or education is in your conclusion? You ask a lot of important questions, but I want to see how you will connect them.
Final Argument (posted RHS April 20 -- 171 April 23)
Everyday, children across the world are picking up their backpacks, meeting their friends at the bus stop, and going to school to learn and socialize. Most of the time, the kids run to their classrooms of thirty other peers and get excited for a brand new day. But what about the children from the special education classes? Where do they fit in amongst the rest? The separation of special education learners and the average classes has recently started to stir up a ruckus. While some believe that mainstreaming the kids is the best fit for learning, others believe that complete separation benefits everyone. If my children were to need special education, I would want them to be in the best environment possible. In order for them to feel safe and still get the attention and social experience they need, I would want my children to be mainstreamed.
A solution that many schools these days are turning to is mainstreaming. "Mainstreaming refers to teaching children with special needs in regular classes with other children", says autismuk.com. Basically, it means that the special needs kids would learn in regular classes. That way they can feel included and learn to socialize with different kinds of people. The article goes on to say that separating autistic children only adds to their problems and makes them feel excluded. Mainstreaming would increase opportunities of leadership among the kids. It would help all of them learn to set examples and teach everyone more about autism. The students in the regular classes would start from a young age to learn about autism, which is a very frequent in our society. It is important for them to learn about autism because it can be intimidating and confusing when meeting someone with it for the first time. They might not understand they way they think and learn. By being immersed from a young age with that knowledge, it can help them for the rest of their lives.
Arguments against mainstreaming root from the issue of child-to-student learning. They would say there are not enough teachers to give all the kids the attention that they need. Many parents are concerned that their child will not get the attention needed for special education if their kids are mainstreamed. They would argue against Brett Singer. Singer is a special education specialist, is pro-mainstreaming. His article on autismlearningfelt.com says, "[Separation in schools is] just a way for society to further marginalize children with autism." The parents that are against mainstreaming look past the point that Singer is trying to make about separating the kids. They look past the issue of separation because all they want is the best education for their children, which is understandable.To have the best education possible, they want their kids to feel comfortable and safe while learning to their best abilities, without having to worry that their children's teachers are too busy with a full classroom to help and be distracted by the others.
Mainstreaming verses non-mainstreaming is the argument that many schools are trying to solve. By teaching children with special needs with the "regular" students, all would benefit. All the students would receive attention, teach each other, and most importantly, learn from each other.
Everyday, children across the world are picking up their backpacks, meeting their friends at the bus stop, and going to school to learn and socialize. Most of the time, the kids run to their classrooms of thirty other peers and get excited for a brand new day. But what about the children from the special education classes? Where do they fit in amongst the rest? The separation of special education learners and the average classes has recently started to stir up a ruckus. While some believe that mainstreaming the kids is the best fit for learning, others believe that complete separation benefits everyone. If my children were to need special education, I would want them to be in the best environment possible. In order for them to feel safe and still get the attention and social experience they need, I would want my children to be mainstreamed. [Your stance here is good. You’re definitely making an argument. I think it’s a very engaging introduction!]
A solution that many schools these days are turning to is mainstreaming. [Is it just these days? Or has it always been an issue? Why now?]"Mainstreaming refers to teaching children with special needs in regular classes with other children", says autismuk.com. Basically, it means that the special needs kids would learn in regular classes. That way they can feel included and learn to socialize with different kinds of people. [Great elaboration. Mainstreaming makes more sense to me – and it ties in very well with the next sentence!]The article goes on to say that separating autistic children only adds to their problems and makes them feel excluded. Mainstreaming would increase opportunities of leadership among the kids. It would help all of them learn to set examples and teach everyone more about autism. The students in the regular classes would start from a young age to learn about autism, which is a very frequent in our society. [A very frequent what?]It is important for them to learn about autism because it can be intimidating and confusing when meeting someone with it for the first time. [Is it intimidating for the regular student or the student with autism?] They might not understand they way they think and learn. By being immersed from a young age with that knowledge, it can help them for the rest of their lives. [How will it help them? Why should every understand autism?]
Arguments against mainstreaming root from the issue of child-to-student learning. They would say there are not enough teachers to give all the kids the attention that they need. [Who are they?] Many parents are concerned that their child will not get the attention needed for special education if their kids are mainstreamed. [Do these children need a lot more attention? Or just different attention?] They would argue against Brett Singer. Singer is a special education specialist, is pro-mainstreaming. His article on autismlearningfelt.com says, "[Separation in schools is] just a way for society to further marginalize children with autism." [How would it marginalize the children?]The parents that are against mainstreaming look past the point that Singer is trying to make about separating the kids. They look past the issue of separation because all they want is the best education for their children, which is understandable. [Why do they look past it? Is it a fair trade for kids to be separated to have a better education?]To have the best education possible, they want their kids to feel comfortable and safe while learning to their best abilities, without having to worry that their children's teachers are too busy with a full classroom to help and be distracted by the others.
Mainstreaming verses non-mainstreaming is the argument that many schools are trying to solve. [Is there any reason that they’re trying to solve it?] By teaching children with special needs with the "regular" students, all would benefit. All the students would receive attention, teach each other, and most importantly, learn from each other. [In your introduction, you mention that you would want your children to be mainstreamed. Are these the reasons why? Are there things about separation that you don’t like?]
You have a strong paper, in my opinion. =) Just make sure that your introduction and conclusion tie together a little more. It will make your argument come full circle.
Reflection #3 (posted RHS April 23)
My purpose for writing this argument was to show the different methods of schooling for special needs and argue for mainstreaming the children. I met this purpose by using examples and quotes from various websites and persons.
The exigence that influenced me to argue for special needs came from the fact that 3 of my cousins have autism or downs syndrome. I know how it can affect families and how hard schooling can be sometimes.
I used bold statements and examples to draw attention.
I tried to sound educated in the topic to make an educated tone throughout the piece of writing.